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Top 3 tips on how to cultivate self-love

Updated: Mar 13

Self-love isn’t arrogance, or a grandiose opinion of yourself. Self-love simply means that you have an appreciation for yourself and hold yourself in positive regard. Closely linked to self-confidence and self-belief, self-love means that you treat yourself with love and kindness, but it often feels more complicated than that. Read on to find out whether you love yourself and how to cultivate self-love when you’re lacking.

A hand holding a postcard saying "love yourself"

The good news is that self-love is a skill and mindset you can learn to develop. It starts when we honour our needs and wants, which is a key part in the journey of finding your authentic self. But that doesn’t come naturally for many of us especially when we experience periods in our lives where we neglect ourselves. For whatever reason, we’re focused on other things. As a result, we stop listening to what we want and need, and focus on reacting to what’s in front of us instead. When we do this our self-love gradually decreases because we’re not prioritizing ourselves, resulting in over-committing, self-criticism, low self-esteem, tiredness, unhappiness, illness and sometimes even burnout. Sound familiar? A lack of self-love impacts our overall wellbeing so if you feel any of the above and know you’re not treating yourself as well as you should be then perhaps you need to work on your self-love.


If we prioritize ourselves, and our actions demonstrate this, our self-love increases. This in turn increases our motivation and reduces negative thoughts and self-sabotage. It doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t have to be a comprehensive, time-consuming routine. If you keep things quick and simple it often means we can commit to it long term, increasing the overall benefits we experience.


Here are my top 3 tips for cultivating self-love:


1)     Get to know yourself

How can you love what you don’t know?! It’s time to get curious about yourself and learn what it means to be you. Asking yourself questions to dig deeper into yourself can help with this. As a result, you’ll see new and interesting things you didn’t know existed!

2)      Schedule “me time”

It might be reading for 30mins before bed, waking up 30mins earlier to do a workout, going for a lunch time walk, watching your favourite program or taking 10mins to write down your achievements for the day. Whatever your “me time” is, decide what you want to do and when, and commit to it like you would commit to a date with a friend.

3)      Write a love letter

Write a Love Letter to yourself and refer back to it whenever you’re lacking in self-love. If this feels challenging, start by writing down 8 attributes you like about yourself and then turn them into a letter highlighting them, their benefits and why you love them. Keep it in a safe place for when you need it next.


We could all do with some extra self-love every now and again so this Valentine’s Day take some time to focus on your own self-love and do something that will give it a boost.


Oh, and by the way, coaching has been proven to increase self-love by over 60% and it’s something almost all of my clients see an improvement in when they work with me, so if you feel like you need more than a boost, click the button below and find out how a Momentum Coaching session might be just what you’re looking for.

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