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No.1 regret people have and how to avoid it

Updated: Jun 12

What do you think the number 1 regret is that people have in their last few days of life? Not staying in touch with friends? Not making enough money? Not travelling to the place, they always wanted to visit? Well, although these things might be important to some, research has shown that there is actually one regret that comes up most often, universally. Read on to find out what that is.

Life will not wait written in wooden scrabble pieces

Extensive research has been carried out over a number of generations with people who were entering the last stages of their life. They were asked one question “what is your biggest regret?” Time and time again the answer was “not having the courage to live for themselves; not being true to who they are, and living a life based on other people’s expectations instead." When I found this research, it had a profound impact on me. I felt really sad that so many people felt this way and was determined to do something about it; hence my mission for SJS Coaching Services.

But here’s the thing…our intention creates our reality. Most of us spend our lives in autopilot, reacting to the next thing that comes along doing what we need to to get through the day. Before you know it, days turn into weeks, months turn into years and all the changes you wanted to make haven’t happened. Sound familiar? Yeah, I’ve been there too. You tell yourself you don’t have time to think about anything other than the day ahead so time ends up passing you by with you staying in the same place and not making steps towards what you actually want. We get bogged down with listening to others and to society telling us what we want that we forget to check-in with ourselves and explore what it is we actually want.

What are the consequences?

Well, you could wake up one day and realise you didn’t live the life you wanted. How would that feel? I know for me it would feel worse than not trying. Worse than saying “no” to things I don’t want to do so that I have time for the things I actually want to do. Worse than “letting people down” by doing what I want for myself, instead of what they want for me. Knowing that I chose to spend my time pleasing other people instead of living the life I truly wanted would be heart breaking for me. So that’s why I threw the rule book away and took control. I found my authentic self and bit by bit I’m learning to thrive instead of just survive, in life and work. Are you ready and willing to do it too? Let me know if you are by joining my community and we’ll take the journey together.

And for those of you looking to get started right away, start with a simple if not challenging question:

If I was to die tomorrow, would I be happy with how I lived today?

Let that sit for a second.

If the answer is “no,” start considering what you need to change for the answer to be a “yes.” Focus on one element at a time and bit by bit you’ll see your life change into something more.

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